Borderlands 3’s Guns, Love and Tentacles DLC dropped yesterday and honestly, that’s exactly the type of title I expected. We’ve got quite the drop with the newest DLC, and things are looking good.
The DLC is about a lot of things, among them the matrimony of the gentlemanly Sir Hammerlock and his husband-to-be Montgomery Jakobs. Yes, of those Jakobs’. Why are you confused, did you not play the game? I know it gives you the option to skip a portion of the story, but damn dude. Well if you didn’t know, our favorite hunter/scholar/gentleman has been seeing the Jakobs heir for quite some time, and they’re looking to finally tie the figurative knot.
Now yes, it may sound like a raunchy fanfic and honestly yeah, knowing Borderlands, it’s not far off. Tentacle implications aside, thie DLC adds a lot of new content for players looking to get their fix. It actually gives me a kind of Tiny Tina’s Assault on Dragon Keep vibe with the setting.
Old friends, new enemies, guns, events and appendages
For starters, series veterans get to see our old Mechromancer buddy Gaige and Deathtrap again! The wedding takes place on a new planet named Xylourgos -- have fun pronouncing that -- and please be sure to ignore the eldritch horrors wandering the planet as we’ve respectfully asked them to f**k off. Of course they won’t, but that’s where Vault Hunters come in, right?
Speaking of our favorite gun-toting mercenaries, they now have a host of new legendaries to find and play with. With 29 new legendary weapons in circulation, there’s a lot left to hunt down. And with the Door Buster mini event, now you can buy legendaries straight out of vending machines. Throw in a level-cap increase from level 53 to level 57 and you’ve got a recipe for a good time.
To help you reach this new level cap, there’s a whole host of new and spooky enemies for you to fill with lead. Or lasers, missiles, or just general bullshittery tbh. You could annoy them to death if you really tried. Speaking of bullet sponges, I should also mention the newest Takedown event. Well, it’s not new per-se, but the Takedown Shakedown event started March 24 and is running through to April 2.
Basically, Takedowns are massive raid-boss-slash-wave-defense events where you just try to avoid getting your ass beat for about half an hour or more. The Takedown is hard as hell -- but it rewards you well enough. The loot pools have boosted drop rates with the event to give you that extra incentive to put yourself through it all. They’re really meant for endgame-level characters looking to score a chance at badass loot. So be careful, or you’ll just end up dying over and over -- assuming it doesn’t glitch out.
Aaand yeah. That’s something to fill your sudden increase in time. Since you’re stuck inside anyway, take your time and play some more Borderlands 3. Alternatively, if you feel reluctant to play chaotic games that let you do hoodrat stuff with your friends, you can still do it and just feel bad about it.