Perhaps the hardest thing in the life of a journalist is the duty to bring knowledge to the public, no matter how corrupt and cursed that knowledge may be. This pursuit is often pleasant and fulfilling. However, today I find myself in the company of the likes of Prometheus with his flame and Eve with her apple.
Today I must bring knowledge that I myself wish I had never discovered. Despite my reluctance, my personal integrity compels me to write this. Though it may not want to, the world must know. I just hope my folly can be forgiven in the end. Here are the five Pokemon that got fans egregiously thirsty.
Everything took a turn for the worst when some primordial molecules decided to replicate and evolve. Several billion years of unfortunate events followed, all culminating into the atrocity that is the terribly unwholesome things the fanbase has done to Gardevoir.
It takes approximately two seconds to find NSFW art of the poor Pokemon by simply typing in the word Gardevoir. With SafeSearch enabled, this time is doubled to a pitiful four seconds.
It’s really a shame since Gardevoir is actually a pretty cool Pokemon. Its feminine appearance stands in stark contrast to the overtly masculine looks of previous Pokemon like Machamp. And despite what internet artists seem to believe, Gardevoir actually can be male or female.
Lopunny finds itself in the company of Maid Marian and Lola Bunny as a gateway for a new generation’s introduction to furry culture. While there was nothing overtly sexual about Gardevoir, I can’t help but feel that Lopunny’s designers had something a little more venereal in mind. Even it’s pose in its debut games, Pearl and Diamond, seems somewhat suggestive.
Evidently, the people at Game Freak were disappointed in the 4% of Lopunny fanart that was actually wholesome. To combat this, the 6th generation of games gave Lopunny a mega evolution that came complete with ripped leggings.
During the 7th generation, Tsareena hit the scene to really put the freak in Game Freak. While the community’s reaction to a feminine looking Pokemon was predictable, what was surprising was what Game Freak had done to Tsareena in the first place. It’s hard not to get dominatrix vibes when looking at this grass type, and to ensure everyone got the idea behind this Pokemon, Game Freak gave it a unique evolution method.
Tsareena is obtained by getting a sweet, innocent looking Steenee to learn the move Stomp. STOMP! That’s not all. Tsareena’s moveset is dominated (ahem) by several kicking moves, including its signature move, Trop Kick. However, the most interesting part of Tsareena’s movepool is the move Punishment.
I want to note here that aside from Silvally holding a Grass Memory, Tsareena is the only grass type in the game to learn this move.
Game Freak knew what they were doing when they designed this Pokemon. Perhaps the stark contrast between the sensual Tsareena and its adorable pre-evolutions Bounsweet and Steenee is Game Freak’s way of reminding us that innocence is fleeting, and nothing is safe from an overactive libido wielding a pen.
I suppose it shouldn’t be much of a surprise that a Pokemon named after pheromones would garner this kind of attention. At least it shows the internet’s taste diverse enough to go beyond just thicc mons.
This twiggy bug type proved that the internet is thirsty for any Pokemon with even a hint of femininity. Though it may be one of the fastest Pokemon around, even its speed paled in comparison to the speed with which NSFW artists went to work after Pheromosa’s reveal in Pokemon Sun and Moon.
Hatterene is to the Pokemon community what Lady Dimitrescu was for Resident Evil players, and no, it’s not because they both have big hats.
This Pokemon is one of the main reasons Pokemon searches rank high on any NSFW website. However, while Hatterene may initially seem to have some rather generous proportions, it can be seen in its fainting animation that all those curves are in fact just its hair. Of course, that didn’t stop internet artists. Nothing seems to be able to stop them.
Honorable mentions for this list include Sazzle, Primarina, Delphox, and Mr. Mime. Mr. Mime can be male or female, by the way. Mr. Mime does not prescribe to your archaic notions of gender.
If you made it all the way here, I thank you for sticking with me through this harrowing, indulgent little list. If you are feeling thirsty for more Pokemon content, perhaps of the more wholesome-slash-educational variety, we actually have a lot of that, too.